It’s been four months since my last post, so I thought, before I get back into the swing of things, that my absence should be explained or, at the very least, acknowledged. It’s been a pretty up and down four months – juggling uni, work, family and other projects is never easy, and then add a long-term relationship breakdown, a chronic illness flareup, an extremely taxing volunteer role, an ongoing neck and back injury… man, life has been HECTIC.
The silver lining is that, when you have so much shit thrown at you and you finally realise you’re struggling, you then have the opportunity to step back and really question, “Am I doing too much? What is important to me? And what is not?” My realisation came in the form of a teary counselling session, where everything that had been frustrating and stressing and exhausting me came out in a flood of words, and deep down I knew exactly what I needed to do.
Take a step back.
Slow everything down.
Reach out for help.
It’s much easier said than done. Hell, I’m a psychology student and I still don’t always practise what I preach – there have been so many times that my self-care (physical and mental) has gone out the window because I just haven’t had enough value in myself. And there’s a whole lot of grief in realising that you currently don’t have (and might not ever have) the physical and emotional capacity to take on everything that you want to do or expect of yourself. I’ve beaten myself up about projects that have fallen by the wayside, about not having written a blog post, about having to postpone meetings, about having to ask for extensions for classwork. But I’m working on accepting that’s what I need at the moment. It’s hard, but I’ll get there.
So, if you’re sitting there wondering what this means for this platform, it means this: I love writing and I’m proud of this little space, so I’ll still be here, but not as often. I hope that the quality will far outweigh the lack of quantity. But, let us both take this as a reminder, health and happiness is more important than anything else.